Ha Noi

WARNING: piss and vinegar rant ahead! If you’d rather not read about my bitch session, just browse the highlights:

• Lots of rain: Man, the weather was miserable out here. I kind of knew that we were here in the off season, but I didn’t expect the deluge of water that fell upon us. Am I supposed to build an Ark or something?
• Lost on the streets: I nearly got pick-pocketed walking around the first night. Part of it was my fault as I didn’t have a comprehensive security scheme for the new backpack I got in Hoi An.
• Every street in the old quarter sells something specific: There’s a bag street, and a shoes street… There’s even a bamboo pole street. Oh, and there’s a scotch tape street. Seriously, every kind of clear packaging tape imaginable. This was a lively topic of conversation at the Bia Hoi corners: “Did you guys see the Scotch Tape street? Man, that’s crazy!”
• Beer corners: This was really surprising to me, but the Bia Hoi corners in Hanoi are kind of overrated. The beers are cheap, but not as cheap as in Saigon… and the beer wasn’t great. It has a kind of sour taste that reminded me of bad apple cider. It was barely palatable. I think that we were better off ordering $0.75 bottled Tiger beers rather than the $0.25 fresh beer.
• A friendly Aussie face: Joel, how you doing buddy? We saw on facebook that our Aussie friend from Saigon was hanging out in Hanoi… fresh from his high octane group tour of Vietnam. We had no way of directly getting a hold of him, but as luck would have it, Ana ran into him on the street in front of our hotel. Too funny. It sounded like he was having a hell of a good time in Vietnam. I’m going to be super impressed when I find out that he’s been able to party non-stop for 3 months straight! I think that we’re going to miss him in Laos… probably a good thing for my liver.
• Google Map of Hanoi (Click Here)
• Pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/richmosko/Hanoi

Ok, Here’s my Rant:

Our time in Hanoi did not start out so auspiciously. We arrived in the midst of a torrential downpour, which sucked because I somehow managed to loose my umbrella the night before in Hue: too much beer and whiskey? You make the call. Our plan was to take the Vietnam Airlines shuttle from the airport because it was dirt cheap ($2 USD) and we have an ingrained distrust for taxi drivers. We negotiated with the driver, and he agreed to drop us off at our hotel if we paid an extra $1 each: a reasonable amount considering how miserable it was outside. Of course like every other mode of transportation in Vietnam, passenger space was not a finite commodity. Our driver somehow managed to pack 4 people per row… luggage and all. I think that there were 15 people in the van by the time that we finally left. Not 5 minutes from the airport, the Vietnamese woman next to me proceeds to get motion sick. Thank goodness she brought her own plastic bag with her. Seriously: can no one around here ride in an enclosed space without getting ill? I really need to start collecting air-sick bags from some of our flights.

Anyway, It takes us an hour and a half to get through the city as the rush hour traffic is simply brutal… and apparently our driver had no interest in driving any further than the airline office. He proceeded to boot everyone off the van, including the people that he already collected extra money from. So much for hotel-side drop off. At least Ana was able to finagle our $2 back for getting dropped off short. Not that he voluntarily offered us a refund. I kind of had to refuse to leave the van (while sitting on someone else’s luggage) before he gave us back our money. So now it’s raining, and we are 1.5km away from where the map says our hotel is. Traffic is brutal so taking a cab is useless: we needed to bite the bullet and just huck it to our hotel. When we finally get to the spot on the map, we realize that our hotel is not there. It turns out that the Lonely Planet map was actually wrong! Not the first time that this has happened to us, but still pretty shitty considering that we walked over a kilometer in the pouring rain.

As luck would have it, our hotel was back 1km on the other side of the lake: annoyingly close to where we got dropped off in the first place! So we continue walking down the street, and I feel a slight tug on my backpack. I instinctively stop and take a step backwards (Lord knows why), and find myself immediately colliding with a small, very close Vietnamese man. WTF?!? He starts walking past me, and I quickly realize exactly what happened. I hand my bag to Ana and she tells me, “bag’s open… you should run.” Which I did. When I caught up with the guy, I grabbed him by the shoulder and walked him back to our stuff: “Hey buddy, you got my camera?” Luckily for everyone involved, my camera was still in my bag. I guess I startled him off before he could nab anything. My impression of people in Hanoi so far: not so good.

We finally make it to our hotel, which was not easy as there are about a half dozen hotels named “Espensen” around Hanoi. Apparently, once you’re listed in the Lonely Planet book, even your name get’s bootlegged like a knock-off “North Face” backpack. Classic. All said and done: nothing got stolen, no one got hurt, and we actually (after some time) made it to our hotel intact. If Chris Uhlik were here, he’d say that it was simply another adventure to tell.

Tags: Vietnam,Hanoi,pickpocket,beer corner,bia hoi